Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I haven't blogged in awhile and I figured since I have recently started to take better care of myself physically by working out everyday and eating clean, it's time to do the same for my mind which for me has always been writing. Writing has always been cathartic for me so here I am, at it again to make you smile, laugh and maybe cry a little, God knows I do writing these. I treat my blogs like a diary, for me it's easier than writing in a diary, I have never been one to hide my feelings  or thoughts so why not allow everyone else to read it? Bare with me as this post may be all over the place, lots of thoughts on my mind tonight.

There have been many changes in my life recently and many more to come. Having an, at times, toxic 7 year relationship end, moving back home, losing a dog and now planning to move is overwhelming to say the least. Within the past two years I have lost and grieved (am still grieving) for JoEll, a shitty relationship (over it), and a dog who my ex failed and gave away. To say that I am not willing to lose anyone else in my life at this time is the biggest understatement of the year.

Opie and I

Thinking about moving away from my best friends and the people who know me the best scares the hell out of me. I cry when I think about it, I can't even talk about it. They have been the only constants in my life since I was little. I have my best friend since Kindergarten Stephanie and her husband Danylo, my best friend since 5th grade Mandy, my college friends, my co-workers (the few I do enjoy) these people are my core, they are the people who keep me standing on days that I don't feel like I can. What will I do without being able to go to Stephanie's house for a sleepover for girl talk, sad movies, drinks and to torture Danylo by overfeeding the cats when I need to get out of my own head? Or going to Mandy's parents house to see her family who are my family? I know they will always be in my life but they will be out of reach and that scares me. 

Steph and I in Kindergarten

Steph and I at her wedding 12/26/14

Mandy and I at her wedding August 2013

How do you pick yourself up and move on and trust that in a relationship you won't lose someone else when you have taken so many hits lately? I always do pick up and move on, so I know I will, I just don't know how to say here you go, here's my heart, please don't leave, don't screw me like the idiots before you. JoEll used to tell me, "you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one." I think she always knew, like my mom, that I needed to move on, that my last relationship was not the relationship that I was going to end up being in the rest of my life. I guess I should've listened, I would've loved to see her smiling and laughing at my wedding. If you had told me two years ago this is where my life would be I would have told you that you were out of your mind.

I realize that this post seems sad or depressing but hey this is my diary so deal with it. Onto the positive things that I have done recently....

I have gotten to see my two best friends both get married. I have never seen either of them more happy then they are now. Stephanie and Danylo are so adorable they disgust me because I want what they have :-) 

I have gotten to go see my favorite comedian Trevor Noah perform live with my good friend Lin and my sister downtown at Up Comedy Club which was a blast! 

His South African Accent is <3

My sister, me, and Lin

I was lucky enough to get asked to interview for the job I have always wanted in Naples, FL, so I flew down for a quick trip and interviewed. I had one day to enjoy myself, I felt like a real World class traveler it was such a quick business trip. While I won't say what the job is because of jinxing it or for privacy reasons, I will say it's an amazing opportunity and one that I have always wanted. I was very fortunate that my favorite college professor wrote me a great letter of recommendation and it was probably the best interview I have ever had. 

On the plane 

Naples Pier

My grandparents pool at sunset

Also I have recently started a new workout/clean eating program called the 21 Day Fix and Shakeology. I have to honestly say it's amazing. It's the easiest program to do, the shakes keep your cravings for sugar at bay and the workouts are awesome. You workout everyday for 30 minutes, have a shake for one meal and have to eat all of your containers (which I have a HARD time doing, crazy right a diet that you are full on?). I have become stronger, leaner, more flexible, and have lost weight and am only on week 2. While it is only a "21 day fix" I don't see myself ever not eating like this again or stopping the workouts or working out everyday now that I am again. I am truly proud of myself to be able to say no to things like girl scout cookies (Samoa's are my Achilles heel), donuts, candy, and anything else that isn't a fruit for my sweet source. I am also drinking water ONLY. Never thought I would see that day as I was an avid pop drinker, boxes of it a week. Ask me for more information if you want to know about it! 

The 21df containers and shakeology shaker cup as well as workout DVDs

A little motivation ;-)

While I am not exactly thrilled about the changes ahead, I am cautiously optimistic. I know that my friends will always be my friends and there is always planes, trains and automobiles, and facetime, skype and texting there is nothing like being able to get in the car and drive to see them. I am thankful for both the good and bad things that have happend lately, they continue to make me stronger both physically and mentally. No one said life was going to be easy, but I know when I get to where I am going it'll be worth it.