When I got the phone call from JoEll and she told me she had some stuff going on, I assumed she had meant with work and was going to need me to watch the kids, then she said, "I have cancer," I literally felt the entire room start to spin and my heart dropped. In that moment, the entire World stopped for me it felt like the day my own mom had called to tell me she had cancer. Immediately I heard the concern and sadness in JoEll's voice and I was scared beyond belief because that's how much JoEll means to me, my second thought was for the kids. I was Olivia's age (9th grade) when my mom was diagnosed, Mitchell in 10th and Ben in 7th, I immediately felt sick for them. I've always loved JoEll and her family and loved being around her, her laugh is so contagious you can't help but laugh when she does because it comes from her soul, her smile is so genuine she would do anything for anyone at anytime, and she has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Throughout all of the testing, and treatments and hospital visits she has not once lost any of those things, she is still the most beautiful lady and her strength awes me everyday. She is still as stubborn as ever wanting to drive the kids to places, wanting to go into work even though her boss and friend was nice enough to set up an office for her at home. JoEll's friends have formed a circle around her, a tight knit circle where we all keep each other in the loop and we all keep JoEll's best interests and health at the highest priority. She has friends getting her second opinions with some of the best doctors around, people taking care of cleaning the house, getting her insurance lined up, and countless people offering to go with her to appointments because she is loved by so many. Each one of us are more than willing to take on whatever she or the kids need because we love her and her family and know that she needs to focus on fighting and beating this battle she is dealing with right now. We also all know that if anyone can do it, it's JoEll, the loudest mom you will hear cheering on the bleachers for her kids at the soccer or football games, the mom who will jump into a fight in the middle school hallway and break it up because she knew the smaller kid had no chance, the friend who never forgets a birthday of any of the many friends she has and still somehow comes up with the best and most creative gifts, a friend who brought her kids to the hospital to see me when I had surgery, and a friend who is like a second mom to me (although she is NO WAY old enough to be my mom), who is the strongest, most beautiful, loving, fighter who can and will beat this monster of a disease because all of us are going to help her. JoEll is the friend who is in the hospital bed worrying about my doctors appointment and saying she feels like she hasn't seen me in a long time and misses me, THAT'S how big her heart is and the type of person she is.
Everyone is coming together to make dinners and help with appointments and take kids places and do what they can and it has made me realize what is truly important in life, it's not the stupid diploma I have or the degree that goes with it, its the people who I love and who love me because at the end of the day if I got sick I know who I would want forming a circle of love around me and I know who would be there. You can have the best job in the World, you can make the most money and live in the biggest home but at the end of the day if you got sick or it came to the end of your life, would you rather have money and that job or people who truly love you and are there for you? I know what I would want...
She has also showed me how much I take for granted and how little things are not important. Any woman who goes through chemo will tell you the first thing they worry about is not what it will do to their body or the side effects but losing their hair. A woman's hair is their pride and joy, we spend so much time growing it out and cutting it and styling it and making it the way we want it to look and chemo takes that away from a woman. It's one of the many things cancer can take away from someone. Luckily cancer cannot take JoEll's beautiful smile or her bright eyes or her contagious laugh or her warm loving hugs. Her hair she will grow back and in the meantime we can have fun with wigs (or weaves as Olivia and I like to call them) to cover her beautiful bald head. I realized that I take a lot for granted in my life, it is so important to tell the people you love that you love them every single day because you never know when it could be the last time you see them. It's about living everyday like it's your last and making sure that everyone in your life always knows how you feel about them just in case. It's about being with who makes you happy and enjoying every minute of it no matter what other people think.
JoEll-
I love you so much, you are the most beautiful lady with or without hair, your laugh and your heart are two of the many things I love about you. Watching you go through this has been hard because of how much I love you but I know you are a damn strong woman and will beat this just like my mom did. We are all here for you and willing to do whatever we can to help you accomplish that. You have taught me to stop taking things for granted and to realize what is petty and what is truly important. I can never tell you how much your friendship and love has meant to me over the years, and how much I love the kids like they are my brothers and like Livey is my sister. I miss seeing you as often as I used to but I want you to rest and get healthy and I don't want to smother you guys. Know that I am always a text or phone call away and I love when you send me a text letting me know how your day was even if it is just telling me it sucked. I love you to the moon and back. Keep fighting and hang in there. I'm gonna love you through it!
Cancer is a horrible thing.
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